


Painted Faces, Jagged Voices

by SuperLemonSealaa



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: AU, As pennynice, Bev's dad sucks, Circus, F/M, Gay Panic, Good Pennywise (IT), Human Pennywise (IT), M/M, Music, Pennynice is here cus why not, Richie is a jealous hoe, cus there are two of them, eddie's mom sucks, fuck pennydumb, gays cant express feelings, hella gay, kinda sad, preformers, rockstar - Freeform, sorry but Mike deserves the world, sweet baby, we are all clowns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21786619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperLemonSealaa/pseuds/SuperLemonSealaa
Summary: Basically I want to write a Circus x Rockstar AU because.. why not? All you need to know is that Pennywise no longer wants to eat kids, just wants to emotionally wreck them (which isn't all too different) The POV is 3rd person but will show Bev's/ Eddie's thoughts and feelings mostly. I guess I would propbably say: Bev and Eddie are both very different and are living in different worlds but somehow they are one of the same. They learn about love, pain, and growth all while trying to face the biggest issue at large, their past.or in other words,shits gonna go down.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Original Female Character(s), Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough & Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough & Georgie Denbrough, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Georgie Denbrough & Beverly Marsh, Mike Hanlon & Everyone, Pennywise & Everyone
Kudos: 4





	1. Cue The Lights!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any spelling errors lol We are gonna open on Bev and her life. The first few chapters will be about her and will shift to Eddie in chapter 3 or 4! Then we will flip flop back forth each chapter. I don't know what style I want but I'll figure it out along the way. I will try to update weekly, mostly because school will suck the life out of me if I don't do something I genuinely enjoy. Also, Bill, Bev, and Georgie are baby and deserve nothing but the best.

The lights dim, a single figure appears in the middle of the stage. The spotlights point downwards onto the body, its limbs are graceful and relax. Every beat and every step gave the dance meaning and purpose. She leaps into the air as the flutes whistle and bent to the floor as the drums rumble. The audience applause the tiny dancer, as she scurries off into the void. Suddenly, performers of all ages began their dance, with leaps and twirls. The little dancer smiles, wishing that one day she could watch. But she hurries to get the dress for a final dance. However, something stops her. A tight grip on her shoulder spooks her to her core. It reminds her of the past. A voice would erupt and terrorize her before bedtime. She perks up, nervously listening. 

"Hey, Bev." The voice wasn't deep and scary, instead, it was of a friend.

"Billy!" She cries, turning around and embracing him.

"H-h-hey! Hey, B-b-Bev!" Bill rubs her back trying to look for something, "Not a c-c-clown, huh?"

"Har har," she pulls away, remembering her next costume change, "Shit! Billy, I gotta go. Talk to you later!"

She waves goodbye and rushes outside, trying to find her "dressing room" in time. Her dress designer looks at her, leaning against the trailer with a clipboard in hand. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't have to. Her body language suggests annoyance. She unlocks Bev's door, reluctantly. Bev enters, hearing a loud SLAM! behind her. She looks for her costume but finds out she can't find it. Anxiety bursts from her body, her hands began to shake violently. You might be wondering why Bev lives this life. Wouldn't it be stressful for a young girl to deal with this? Well, it's better than before. Daddy never would have approved of dance as a career, stating how she'll go hungry from dieting and live hopelessly from lack of money. But Mr. Penny seems so kind, he wants her to perform the moment he saw her. She thought he was okay. Just that he yells too much.

She notices that her costume was thrown on the floor, next to a table with a post-it note. It reads: "WHY THE F*CK DID YOU LEAVE THIS ON THE TABLE, BEVERLY" in pretty cursive writing. The only person who even has legible handwriting is Anna, her dress designer who makes sure she doesn't wear the wrong outfit or tear any stitches. She's also the only one who censors her swearing, especially in front of children. Bev rolls her eyes, picking up the costume to change into it. It was annoying to even wear this outfit while dancing. The sleeves had ruffles as cuffs that are very tight around her wrists, the pants are way too baggy and feel like it'll fall off any second, and she hates the makeup. The thing Bev hates most about her costume was that she has to paint her face completely white. On break, she must wipe it off outside with only a tank of water and a towel. Resources were limited when your boss is a cheapskate. It is also either very foul-smelling due to all the animals or just really fucking cold. Like the cold. But she enjoys dancing behind a mask, people don't see you as a person. You're another body, not a toy to mess with. It was nice to see people smile when they see you, instead of groan and complain.

"Bev, hurry up in there. I have to do your makeup!"

____

Bev is waiting patiently for her cue, she was always nervous about missing it even though she never had. She watches as the ensemble continues their intro dance. Bill wore a top hat and carries a cane around, like an old 1950's man. If that's the right date... Bev wouldn't know any better. Dates and times get stuck in her head and most times she forgets. Bill doesn't seem like the kind of guy who loves the spotlight, but he was wonderful as a lead. He grew up on tap, he won't admit where it came from though. He was wonderful at pretending to be this big, confident extrovert, although one of them is true about him. She notices that the group stopped, she was next! The lights dim, Bev walks onto the middle of the stage. Suddenly, the spotlight flashes down on her. She smiles, this was her favorite part.

The music picks up. She flew upwards in a breeze. The wires attached to a backpack she wore for her costume but she knew the audience wouldn't mind either way. She flew through the air like a bird, dancing as best as she could while airborne. It was magically, the audience was in awe! She loves attention as much as she enjoys performing it. The wires lift her down, the music slows. The lighting shifts, Bev removes the wire. She hurries onto the next platform. The middle of the circus tent. She stands proudly. The dancers of all ages and sizes dance around the platform Bev stood upon. She twists her body, watching each step she took. She then jumps down and joins the dancers.

"Penny- Penny- Penny!" They are chant, almost in unison. Bev dislikes singing but somehow this doesn't feel like singing. It felt like we were summoning something, like in those movies. It was creepy and off-putting but they were using upbeat music for it. Bev ignores that though, it's only silly thoughts anyways. Someone else was about to appear, that someone was their lead. Mr. Wise himself.

"Pennywise!" They all extend their arms towards a dark figure, he exits the shadows. It reveals a lovable, sweet looking clown. He bounces down and performs a quick number filled with slapstick, forced jokes, and fumbling around. Bill hates this part, and it shows. Mostly because Pennywise stutterers for comedic reasons ("I'm j-just saying, they hh-have so many a-a-accents in the world and y-yet they g-go for the st-st-stutter!") and because of the cheesy one-liners. Nonetheless, we join together smiling and chanting.

"Welcome to the show!" They all jump up proudly. Tonight is going to be wild. Bev just knows it.

\----

"Well, that was fun. Y'all did wonderfully!" Pennywise places his arms on his hips, this was mostly for children. But Bev still rolls her eyes to the replies, every time. 

"Thank you, Mr. Wise." Georgie would join in the little kids as well. Bev felt bad, it was rehearsed and all the children did that to please him. But Georgie was none the wiser, poor thing.

"Anyways, California Tour is over. Next is Derry, Maine."

Bev steps closer to Pennywise, "Derry? As in.. The Derry?"

Penny looks behind him, smiling at a shock Bev, "Yes, Bev. The Derry."

Bev looks away, delighted. She knew what this meant. Sadly, Bill was out of the loop.

"W-w-why a-are you so excited?" Bill taps Bev's shoulder, "I-I-it's just Maine."

Bev looks as if she saw a ghost, she could not even start with the importance of the said state. It was a big staple of Pennywise: The Dancing Circus, for crying out loud! Before Bev could even speak, Pennywise interrupts them. He explains things that Bev doesn't understand. The main thing is that they had to pack up and grab their personal belongings from their trailers and hurry on the train. So, they all did. Bev chose to ignore Anna this time, but luckily Anna was too busy talking to other ladies to even notice Bev. Bev grabs her clothes, her key necklace, and her shoes. She doesn't need much. Her entertainment is Bill and Georgie, food is supplied for them, and she only really goes out if Bill could - which he rarely can. But she was okay with it, to an extent. 

As soon as the performers arrive on the train, Bill, Georgie, and Bev hurry into a compartment with their baggage. They allow Georgie dibs on a window seat, as it will entertain him for hours. Bill and Bev could talk about anything and never get bored. It was fun to interact with him, he didn't care much about what people thought of him. His maturity shines best when they talk about family. He has a grown-up way of thinking, at least Bev believes he does. He says stuff like, "It was all a plan for us, so we shouldn't fright" or whatever. Bev doesn't believe in stuff like that, but she likes to as it is Bill. 

"Bill, you've been here longer than I have. Right?" Bev began, staring out the window.

"Yeah, and?"

"I was just wondering, how do you not-" Bev was about to go on a long rant, but Pennywise got in before she had the chance. 

"Hello Billy, Georgie, and Beverly." He smiles at Beverly, although he was her father figure now he wasn't very good at showing it. 

The three reply, "Hello Mr. Wise." Both Bev and Bill were tired of it, but Georgie was adorably loyal.

Pennywise continues with his usual speech on Maine and the importance of putting on grand show, same old show biz stuff. Bev listens, knowing already they'll do fine. It's them! 

"I d-d-don't get why you are so h-happy Bev, I mean, it's only Derry." Bill wipes off the mud from his dirty jeans, the two have been working all day unpacking the circus tent. Currently, Georgie is playing around in the mud, something that Bill will be peeve with.

"Only Derry? Bill, come on!" Bev extends her arm, presenting the world as if she was selling it, "The circus came from Derry! Plus it's our first sold-out show, you can't possibly admit you aren't impressed."

"I g-guess." Bill reaches his arms up to the sky, "But I am just s-s-saying if Mr. Wise didn't t-tell us where we were g-going next every 3 seconds, I would pr-pr-probably still think we we-were on our Ca-California Tour."

Bev laughs as her nose crinkles a bit, she knows Bill all too well, "Well, if it cheers you up... The Lovers are playing in the concert hall next door."

Bill slaps his leg, "Damn, I-I-I knew it!" She smiles, she knows that he knows that she knows a way to get inside. She grew up in Derry, but no one mentions it; not even people who don't know her. It sets off bad memories. But the concert hall never did, it was her favorites.

"We are totally going."

"Heh, better not get caught then." Bill jokes, he probably would tell her he was "too busy".

The two talk for a bit, trying their best to appear as if they were working the whole time. Although Bill was helping out, Bev couldn't help but daydream for a while more. Life isn't the same without Daddy and, to be honest, she was quite glad about that. The world seems much bigger though. As if her father would suck the life out of her. Meeting the boys was the best thing to have ever happen to her, so she wouldn't trade it for the world.

What she would trade was this stupid interaction.

She usually doesn't care for others, she ignores them mostly. But this time was different. It was before the big final dance, she had to get into a quick change so she had to wipe off the makeup fast. She wipes off the makeup at a nearby tank, swearing at herself for not bringing a jacket. The towel was dirty with white face paint and through the reflection of the water, she looks like a hot mess. She sighs, nervously trying to remove all of her makeup. Suddenly, a voice peeks her attention.

"Hey, you're the dancing clown girl, right?" The voice is clearly from a soft-spoken person.

"Yeah, who's talking?" Not looking at the direction of the voice.

"Ben, I'm performing in the concert hall across from here." Ben rubs the back of his head, "Saw your show in Cali, it was cool!". This time, however, Bev slowly pans over to see her favorite guitarist standing before her. She's feeling flustered and starstruck. Bev was now wishing her makeup was still on her face, her face was a red crimson. 

"T-thank you!" She gasps, "You.. play for the Lovers! I love your work!" She feels a little weird by this situation but was not opposed to this idea. She was still going to be deeply embarrassed anyways.

"W-wow! Thank you." Ben cannot control his smile, "You.. you wanna come by?" He blushes, clearly not sure what to say next.

"Can't, still performing." She notices his little frown and felt bad, "But I will go later!"

Ben, not quite understanding what she means, just looks at her confused but then shakes his head, "Alright! See ya around."

"See you!" She waves him a fast goodbye. As soon as he was far enough, she screams into her towel out of embarrassment and happiness. The Ben Hanscom just spoke to her! She didn't know what else to do about getting inside the concert hall, she is smart enough to know 20 ways to get in but not smart enough to know how to convince Bill to help. Bill was too busy with his brother to help a gal out. She will have to owe him big time if they get kicked out, but she doesn't care. Mr. Wise will just pay for it all. Perhaps this will be the hardest part though, telling Bill that they are going to see the Lovers.

"Bev, what's taking so long? You don't even have your costume on yet! You have only had-" Anna exclaims, going on and on about limited time. Bev slowly just walks away from her, aggravated by all her talking.


	2. The Show Must Go On!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Bev know a party when they see one, so they illegally go into one for fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said I hope I didn't forget this in 2 weeks, I really meant I have no motivation nor time to get shit done. I am so sorry this took MONTHS to get done. I have literally no time thanks to the stress of school, I assure you I am trying to get ready for Chapter 3 and I swear, it will come out faster than this lol

"A-a-are you fucking n-nuts!" Bill exasperated, violently extending his arms as if he had seen a ghost, "T-t-there is the n-n-no way I'm doing that."

Bev had grown up in Derry before her father.. well, it doesn't matter. She had broken into this concert hall plenty of times the placement of the concert hall and the circus introduced her to Mr. Wise. An event that helped get her out of this stupid town. Bill and Georgie, on the other hand, had been running from the fuzz for years. Those boys have been munching on gas station food and late-night happy meals as if it was a ritual. Bev felt guilty knowing that her best friend had to go through hell and back to survive, meanwhile she was peacefully able to befriend Mr. Wise and allowed him to take her under his wing almost immediately. Still, she's glad to have met Bill. He changed her for the better.

"Billy boy, I promise you that we won't get caught." Bev wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her chin on his shoulder blade.

"B-b-but.." He didn't move at all, he was as stiff as a board.

"No, no!" She pulled away, now was facing her brother, "I've done this since I was a kid."

Bill stays quiet, it's clear he wants to say something. But Bev won't press him, although there's a side of her that wants to. Whenever Beverly begs for answers, it's rare for that need to be quench afterward. She wishes to speak again but can feel herself stopping from saying anything. Oblivious to the voices in her head, she simply studied Bill's face for an answer. He looked so much older than he is. Like an adult. His face was sharpened due to time. The bags hung below his eyes, which were dead from the sights he witnessed. A part of Bev wants to feel sad, but she feels nothing but remorse for the kid who wore the yellow raincoat. He's been through a lot. Death, murder, you name it. But maybe Bev just liked Bill, that's why she feels the need to pinpoint his every emotion. Or maybe she's just alone.

"Beverly, I don't wah-wah-wanna see you get in tr-tr-trouble." Bill complained.

Beverly nods, she understood Bill's mindset. Bill worked hard for the family he had and not he works for the family he got. Police are the guys who want to take his family away, he doesn't want to lose a sister. But he doesn't have to! Bev was pissed that she forced herself to silence. Say something, idiot! She thought.

What things that could convince Bill was challenging, he wouldn't dare leave Georgie alone here with Anna. So.. maybe something else.

"Bill, I could tell Wise that we just want time alone. He'll take care of Georgie!" Her face lit up, she cupped her brother's face. His skin was rough, almost bumpy. Nothing about this kid was youthful anymore. It seems like as soon as he was exposed to the dread of reality, his face had to represent that too. She wanted to give him a peck on the nose, a friendly kiss to remind him of his youth. He must be brave to survive this shithole.

And he can't say no to her smile.

"I-I suppose, l-l-let's ask t-t-then."

Bev giggles because she won. She knew one thing about Bill that day. No matter how smart he seems, he is still an idiot. It took an hour of convincing and he was drawn in by a simple smile. She will not know this though, Bill never had a friend like her. She knew he pestered her constantly, in a nice way! He would help her out and be there to talk to her. So it was him being annoyingly nice. Bill, though, never grew up with kids the same age as him. Where was he meant to be? There were adult performers and children performers. He didn't have a teen area. He was never able to grow up. Pops in a 15-year-old high school dropout with a dead beat past and he is sold on that. Not because he wishes to save her but because he wants to save himself. Still, they loved each other. That's all that matters. Right? Bev and Bill held hands as they approached the big boss.

\---

It's been so long since Beverly Marsh (Wise?) had friends. Mr. Wise rose from beyond with kindness and care ever since he welcomed her into his home. The biggest issue was Bev's idea of boys. Sure, she liked them, but now this idea of "like" has been soaked in fear and anger due to her father's torture. Thankfully, she held hope in some, mostly coming from her favorite band. The Lovers were very up her alley. They were kind towards everyone because of how they carter to the underdogs. Bill and Georgie used to play songs on their radio while they were on the train, a song called "January Embers" played. Bev just happened to sit with them and she enjoyed every second of it. She recalls it fondly, she barely spoke to Bill. He just clung onto her, she didn't mind the company. He wants friends, he wasn't overbearing either.

There weren't any seats left on the train, of course, she was not sitting alone. She chose to be with the brothers. Bill was always helpful and Georgie was sweet as candy. Something about Bill kept her interested, much like a book. He was always insightful, like a teacher or a historian. She was drawn to him because he had a mentor thing going for him. All Bev had was two hands and a pretty face, that was what daddy use to say.

"Billy, what's does that mean?" Georgie interrupted Bev's peaceful bliss. 

Bill lowered the volume, slightly, "Wh-what do you m-mean?"

"Embers, he repeats that a lot."

Bill laughed carelessly as if he had forgotten Bev was in the room with them, "It's apart of the title, artist repeat words that are similar to their title. Ember just means coal or wood."

Georgie perks up, "Why is he talking about coal?"

"He is t-t-talking about fire." Bill corrects.

"Wh-why? Fire is sooo scary!" Georgie perked up, fearful. Bill wrapped an arm around Georgie and explained quickly, in great detail, the meaning of the song. He was trying to cheer Georgie up and, somehow, it worked.

This time Beverly laughed. They looked at her, surprised as this the first time she spoke. She was a silent type, Bill feared those but couldn't help himself to a new friend. He quietly fell victim for those cool, blue eyes. They suck you in, whether for the better or worse. She was very shy, which used to be so foreign to her. Pops taught her that her voice was her greatest weapon against idiots, but nowadays it was her source of fear. What was she so scared of was something she'll never tell.

"You honestly like this, I thought you were.. much cooler." Beverly teased.

Bill nods, pretending to not be embarrassed by this. He knew who he was, a skinny white boy who spent most of his night aimlessly running through towns. But she liked him. Whether it was because she felt a fire of passion instead of her body when she saw him or because he had this strange sensational love for the dramatics. No matter what, she will always like him.

"January embers,  
Winters come and flower bloom,  
This summer you'll remember, My heart burns there too"

Was a line she'll never forgot.  


\---

"B-Beverly, I swear to god.." Bill was crawling behind Beverly within a concealed vent above the ongoing concert. The voices of the band members were projected into the steel container, rattling the brains of both teens in the process. 

"Trust me, I've sneaked out enough times, Billy boy!" She giggled but Bill groaned.

Bill didn't catch the extent of how often Bev broke out of her dad's house, but it was enough to know the very location of the vent that led them into the girls' bathroom. They were forced to listen to the echos of Richie's riff, which the redhead stopped momentarily to mimic terribly.

"Be-beep beep, Bev." Bill muttered, treating her like a car in traffic. In reality, he was happy to be there too. He loved Lovers since he heard them back when they were just popping up on the radio. The boys were pretty much out of high school, at least they said they were. They were all filled with spirit and excitement. Bill liked Eddie though. Not because he is anything special, no offense to him though, but just because Bill related to him. Eddie was scared that everyone would turn against him and run away. Bill felt that way, he connected to the music of Eddie's pain. Strangely, he now understood why people fell from boy bands like Lovers

Suddenly, the song began to play, cheers from the audience erupted as the guitar solo kicked in. 

Let's kill this fucking clown.

The metaphors on that song get convoluted, like what on Earth is it referring to? The internet wasn't much help either. Bev likes to believe it means dealing with childhood trauma, especially based on how Eddie responses to questions during interviews. Eddie was on the mic - of course, singing his heart out. It didn't sound like him. He was.. tired, even rough. Maybe it was just Bev's imagination though.

The two kids finally got to an opening. A bolted opening. 

"Wh-what the f-f-fuck do we do?"

"Hold on, I got this." Bev pulled a comically larger screwdriver out from her overall pocket.

Bill wanted to scream, loudly, but he couldn't due to security.

\---

Bill was somehow having more fun than Beverly. To think this kid was cool was a grand mistake on Bev's part, but that doesn't mean she regretted bringing him along. He was so in shape, he was able to scream lyrics while reworking the entire music video's dance. It was clumsy and strange, yes, but very funny to Bev. The two bounced to the beat of the drums, dancing around each other in the sweaty room. Although it's a gross environment and they will most likely be sick tomorrow, they both considered it to be a good getaway from the chaos at the Circus. 

When Bev glanced up from Bill's black converse, she noticed a particular boy. She felt her face flush but excused it as her being drenched in heat. There he was, Ben. He was cuter when they met privately, however she could tell how pretty he was from a mile away. At some point, she could have sworn he smiled at her.

It all came to stop when the song played, the one from Bill's radio. The beat slows, it was like everyone's heart was beating at once. They felt it, all of them in a universal fashion. It was lovely, almost poetic if you ignore all the insanity going on. Bill's arm crept onto Bev's shoulder, it was an odd gesture. She understood it though, always did. She reached for his left arm and carried it away with her right. When they turned, their nervous expressions solidified into softening grins. Bev wrapped her arm around his waist, while he crept his on her shoulder. If you weren't paying attention, you could mistake them for high school sweethearts. But their love was beyond romance, although it wasn't, to begin with. Family love regardless if romantic nor platonic (a partnership, such as a fiancee is romantic but very family-oriented.) is more powerful than romance.

Perhaps -at some point- Bev would have fallen victim of Bill's puppy dog eyes and his pink lips and a bright smile. But no, she was thankfully unnerved by it all. Desensitize to acts of attraction, Bev would not even consider it. 

"Am I d-doing ok-okay?" Bill asked softly, staring down at his own feet. The truth is that Bill was a horrid dancer while under pressure, he stepped on Bev's toes multiple times in a row. But she didn't want him to stop if she called him out on it, because he would. He wants to be an example, not want to bring others down with him. He was a perfectionist to all degrees but physical. 

"Yeah," Bev lied, smiling gleefully, "You are."

Ben sang, for once, she was able to hear again beyond Bill and his rosy cheeks.

"January embers,  
Winters come and flower bloom,  
This summer you'll remember, My heart burns there too"

And it will burn there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I had another plot point but I might just add it to the beginning of the first chapter because I really want this story to get out there already :/

**Author's Note:**

> That tiring wow, but hopefully I finish before Monday. Bev and Ben are baby and not one human will convince me otherwise. Please don't bully me, I don't know much about anything ever.... :,) I am really excited for chapter 2!!!! And yes I will do 20 chapters because I am a MESS and tired of my UNFINISHED fanfics >:( Also, I think this will be a fun goal to finish (and not forgot about in two weeks!!!!!!)


End file.
